I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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