I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
