I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
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So gin and wine won't be happening again
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
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He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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