careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
