"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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