Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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