I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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