Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize