Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize