i would punch a child for taco bell
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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