it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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