I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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