I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
