So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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