A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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