question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
