I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
