Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
