Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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