I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize