you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
