great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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