clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
how drunk are you?
Several
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
