He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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