Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
