So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
