I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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