Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
