Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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