I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
