when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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