You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize