John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
