when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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