I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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