I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize