That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
