So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize