i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
soo... how was my night?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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