Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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