Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
