If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
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