everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
