So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
