I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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