Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
