I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
