Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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