have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
