i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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