so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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