Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize