I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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