I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
