im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
