I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
