if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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