I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
