Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
